February - The Month of Self Love

Welcome to the month of SELF LOVE.  In January you may have chosen your beloved WORD of the year,  assembled a kick ass vision board, and were very excited to manifest your rock solid and abundant 2024. 

Then February rolls around and our excitement often begins to wane.  It is Winter after all, and frankly it is the perfect time to turn inward. Some of us suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), some of us are freezing (it’s been a cold Winter across most of the US this year), and some of us are lonely for connection.  The Hallmark holiday called Valentines Day, doesn’t quite help that loneliness many of us experience.

I feel STRONGLY that before we can be the best friend, mother, daughter, son, father, employee, parent, lover, partner, etc. we must LOVE ourselves fully.  Giving from an empty well leads to burnout, despair and even more loneliness.  But we live in a society that does not promote SELF LOVE.  In fact, we have been spoon fed by society to give, to nurture and to say YES over and over and over again.

Personally 2023 was the beginning of a journey to truly and fully love myself.  To accept who I am, as I am.  To no longer yearn for external validation, to love, embrace and embody who I am physically, mentally and emotionally.  As I step into 2024, I’m realizing this is not a process you can rush.  For me some of this has come easy, and some of it is very difficult.  I’ve learned NO is not a word that rolls off my tongue easily.  There is a deep part of me that still wants to be loved, wanted and needed, and there is a place programed deep inside of me that feels if I say NO, you won’t love me.  I also struggle with how people perceive me.  I left a very grounded profession, with tons of external validation and status, to pursue the world of energy, metaphysical, healing and spirituality.  It’s a bit of a 180!  That being said, I feel fully aligned with my purpose, for the very first time in my life.

So how does one step forward and begin to practice SELF LOVE.  I have many thoughts on this, but I will try and keep it simple to start:

1.      Find a solid tribe of friends.  Friends that LOVE the true and real YOU.  Don’t settle for anything less! Let the friendships that are work, or leave you feeling depleted gently slide away.  Even if you spend time alone before you find your tribe, that is better for your emotional well-being than phony friendships.

2.      Join a woman’s (or men’s group) circle (in person or online) where you can find continuous and ongoing support.  This should LIFT you up, if it isn’t, find another group.

3.      If you practice Feng Shui the far-right hand corner of your home is the Relationship Gua.  Find a beautiful photo of yourself, place it that corner and light a candle daily in front of the photo.  Send yourself love and deep gratitude from your heart daily.

4.      Diffuse or anoint yourself with Rose essential oil to enhance the feeling of self-love.

5.      Write on a full-length mirror that you use daily, positive words that describe you.  I did this, and when I moved out of my home years later, I left them all on the mirror.  I couldn’t bear to remove them as they were how I started my day.

6.      Affirmations and mantras placed on mirrors, laptops or anywhere you wish can be helpful in promoting positivity towards yourself.

7.      An amazing and powerful playlist that lifts your spirits and makes you shake your booty!

8.      Practice saying NO on small things, so that you can train that muscle to say NO to larger things moving forward.

9.      Start your day intentionally (this may require getting up earlier).  We all have 15 minutes that we can give ourselves, its just hard to justify for many of us.  I pull an Oracle card, inhale an essential oil, reflect on what I’m grateful for, say a prayer, send love to others, light incense or a candle daily.  This all takes 15 minutes or less, but prioritizing ME is essential for follow through.  Make up what you want your morning intention to be, and then start with 5 minutes and build it up to 15.  This takes WORK and I still am a work in progress on this one.

10.   FORGIVE yourself daily.  We are human, we mess up, but do not SHAME yourself.  Instead, every evening before you shut your eyes forgive yourself for anything and everything you felt you could have improved upon that day.  This is true healing.

I will close with this quote:

I hope when you come home to yourself there are flowers lining the front porch that were left from all the woman/men you were before.